 |
How Not to Install a Ceiling Fan. |
- Go to a garage sale and buy a fan. (Make sure they tell you it works.)*
- In a small apartment, put the fan at foot of bed.
- Get out of bed in the middle of the night, trip over fan, curse.
- Get up in morning and inspect broken fan blade.
- Go to Home Depot, try to buy matching replacement blade.
- Go to many garage sales and find an old fan blade that almost matches.
- Buy old fan (cost now approaching the cost of a new fan).
- Move both fans to centre of living room floor.
- Tie off living room with yellow crime scene tape (stolen the night before from an old murder scene.)
- Wait for 6' 6" helper from Germany to fly in -- Joerg.
- Wait for Farmer Dave to close up farm and come and help.
- Borrow step ladder from Building Superintendent.
- Swing ladder into elevator breaking the ceiling light. Cost of fan project now past break-even point.
- Have friends install fan.
- Watch sparks fly from their screwdrivers.
- Turn off breaker on electrical control panel in front closet.
- Have friends install fan again. Repeat Steps 15 and 16.
- Turn on wall light switch.
- Go back to closet and flip multi-breaker switch.
- Watch fan not going and not blowing the smoke away.
- Turn off all power in apartment.
- Wait for smoke to clear before deciding to phone 911.
- Phone an electrician at Richardsons Lighting and talk to Dan but don't tell him your name or where you live ... yet.
- Take fan off the ceiling.
- Repeat Steps 15 and 16
- Test which wire is 'hot" and which one is ground (after turning the power back on).
- Install fan again (with power off) making sure the wires are reversed from the first time.
- Turn on power and cheer as the fan is going backwards.
- Bring 2 beers. (Do not suggest phoning Dan to see how the fan can be made to go forwards.)
- Plan to go to more garage sales or Home Depot and take a peek at the operating manual.
Please click on the thumbnail to see the larger picture. Use your Browser's BACK button to return.
But, before they could show Arnie how to reverse the fan, Jeorg flew back to Germany.
* Thanks to Rae & Bernice
Created October 21, 2003
